This is Me...
A very non-famous Facebook person once quoted "There is no way I was just born to just pay bills and die." A quote that often resonated with me as I scrolled social media in the midst of my quarter life crisis - you know the part of your 20s where you start off feeling very adventurous and then everything collapses and it begins to feel disastrous? Essentially, I mean the part where you say to yourself - what the hell am I doing with my life?
I'm Kar-mar-ree-yah. Well actually it is Kamaria - but travelling around the world as a 20 something year old Caribbean girl with a Swahilli first name, Islamic middle name and a surname of French origin, means that through correcting the mispronunciation of my names, I am often unintentionally pulled into in-depth conversations that birthed my passion for people, places, perspectives, personal growth and politics.
I headed into a secure full time job, making good money, exceeding expectations; whilst lacking passion and growth in boring, repetitive tasks that didn't tap into my creativity or my academically earned skills.
I hold a first class honours degree in Psychology with Professional Development as well as an MSc in Psychoanalytical Developmental Psychology from University College London (UCL), so just to make my name a little more complicated - add a few more letters after it. My success is the pride and joy (and the bragging rights - see the footer of this page) of my traditional Caribbean parents. However, I quickly discovered that a few letters after your name makes very little impact on one's life satisfaction - and it certainly doesn't stop you from being misunderstood, misjudged, misogynised or becoming unemployed either.
After a spell of running away from real world realities travelling and my own personal tribulations with workplace bullying, female rivalry, getting into debt, bad relationships, narrowly escaping tragic accidents, being fired, discrimination (in all its glorious forms such as sexual harassment, gender pay gaps, being judged by my hair, my race and my face) and telling myself I was done with human beings, I found that my love for Psychology was never far from helping me to achieve growth from these things that were wreaking havoc in my personal life.
I re-birthed my confidence that got buried in the bullsh*t of finding out that adulthood really wasn't planning out to be a fancy life full of fun times, freedom and flying all around the world with friends to fetes; and so, I walked into work one day and one hour later I walked out and began to walk into my dream life.
Actually, let me scratch that last bit out, because before my dreams started to come true, I struggled financially through my Master's degree from the backlash of quitting my job. I spent many mornings in the mirror rehearsing what I was going to say when people would ask the daunting question of "so how is your job going?" (Job? What Job? Do you mean Job, the prophet? Yes him! Anything to divert away from me and my disastrous and disappointing attempt at being a grown up).
There were days when I could not even afford to get on the train to go to university and I had used up all of my get out of jail free cards - aka - financial family favours.
How the heck did I end unemployed with a first class undergraduate degree?
I blamed me. I was hurt. I felt embarrassed and I felt like a fool. What if I was different? What if I had just kept quiet instead of questioning things? What if I just gave into the pressure and just shut up and slide into the crowd with the rest of them?
Through post graduate study, I began to meet other women of colour who understood too. Then together WE blamed society, WE blamed austerity, WE blamed supremacy and WE blamed patriarchy. But what we didn't realise was that we had our inner power - girl power! (Citation: The Spice Girls).
I was studying for my masters, but it was time for me to become the master of my own life.
My study of Psychology was no longer just academic, I applied it in my personal life and began to pull myself up and propel myself towards living my life purposefully as the person I already was. I was addicted to empowering videos, thoughtful articles and fun challenges, and so I decided to act as the guinea pig to my own personal experiment.
With so much insight gained, instead of blaming people, I decided that I wanted to build something for people. For those who are different and just want to do things differently. For girls like me, for young women like me, for those with mispronounable (and often misspelt) names, for those who want to propel to success and scrap societal standards and develop more self-love.
After much deliberation between choosing the soul sucking sensible secure job route or the exciting entrepreneurial route; I decided to invest in me!
Before I knew it - I was on TV! People were calling me. People wanted to "do lunch" with me.
My personal brand is about helping women of colour to achieve growth from personal troubles; helping to propel them to reach the peak of their potential. I will help you to care for your esteem and craft that confidence to move your life closer to the way you always imagined it to be. I will help you to rediscover your inner power as your Personal Growth Practitioner who personally understands your experiences.
As a psychologist-in-training, my purpose is to pioneer platforms that provides people like me with a place to share their perspectives - without shying away from any politics attached to the plot-line - and I do it all through my love for feminine psychology and therapeutic principles.
It takes courage to re-craft your life- and courage is born from a little bit of encouragement. If you are ready to take the bricks that block you from your blessings, and use them to begin building your beautiful future, then schedule a session with me.
Start loving and living by the rules written by YOU.
And fun facts about me...
Kamaria Fleary graduated with a First Class BSc (Hons) degree in Psychology with Professional Development from Brunel University and an MSc in Psychoanalytic Developmental Psychology from University College London (UCL). She aims to continue her studies with the pursuit of a Doctorate in Counselling Psychology and Psychotherapy. She has appeared on TV ONE's Women-Today show as a panellist and featured on BBC Radio's 100 Women discussion "Does Feminism Include You?" as an invited member of the interactive audience. She presented her research at UCL and The Anna Freud Centre's Evidenced Based Practice Unit's 10 year anniversary conference; celebrating progress in child and adolescent mental health. She is a member of the British Psychological Society.
1. I love chocolate cake. I don't do diets and I probably never will. I love my body and even though I have spent a lifetime being vegan, I am most certainly not that obsessively healthy person.
2. Travel is my therapy. I have traveled to St Vincent and The Grenadines, Tobago, Tenerife, France and New York and visited Cape Verde, Morocco and Grenada on my own. I also volunteered at a Psychiatric unit in Ghana.
3. My bucket list only has 85 items which include witnessing child birth, tobogganing down the great wall of China and completing a 1000 piece jigsaw.
4. I love to read, write and draw. As I child I wanted to be an author and illustrator and I still collect the works
5. I began teaching myself Spanish through watching Telenovelas and practicing Zumba.